10 months ago...

I can't believe 10 months ago... at 12:10pm, I was laid out in the recovery room at Washington Hospital Center, looking at my new little baby. Its almost surreal how fast one year can go. I remember his birth like it was literally yesterday.
Its amazing all the things he has learned in 10 months. Just a few months ago, he was a helpless little person who needed me to do everything for him. Now, of course he still needs me, but his independence is amazing to watch. How he is learning to manipulate his environment, how he's learning to communicate with the world around him. Its been a blessing to have this little boy in my life.

Prom 2012

My little cousin Qishawn went to her prom Friday, May 11. I had the pleasure of testing my "makeup artist" skills on her. She took me through the MOTIONS preparing for this prom, but what high school senior isn't excited about their prom. I think I almost committed suicide because my dress wasn't finished being sewn until three days before. Qishawn looked beautiful and I was proud to be apart of her night.

First I used my MAC "spiked" eyebrown pencil to fill in her brows. She had her brows waxed earlier that day but didn't like the look. I actually had to persuade her to let me do them. After much back and forth, she finally let me. I used MAC concealer to make the brow pop and she supplied her own foundation. For her eyes, I placed MAC "Aquadisiac" about 3/4 of her lid. I applied MAC "Sketch" in the outer V of her lid. I used a 252 large shader brush to apply both shadows. I used a 224 tapered blending brush to blend the Sketch into the Aquadisiac. I used MAC "Dazzlelight" to highlight the brow. For her lip I used NYX "Gold Pink" megashine lip gloss. She loved her look... my family almost lost it when they laid eyes on her. I am NO WAY a makeup artist... but I enjoy the transformation process. Seeing her face after she saw how I worked made me feel good inside. Makeup has become a hobby and I hope to continue to make others feel as good as she did on her night.

Day One...

How many times have you started something and ended up pushing it to the backburner? I'm famous for having amazing goals and starting out strong but somehow, I end up dropping them off. My laid-back attitude doesn't help this situation either. I always tell myself "there's always tomorrow". This is true, but TODAY I want to begin Day one of STICKING TO MY PLANS.

I've blogged about going to the gym and trying to eat a healthier diet. Well... I must report I haven't been running in weeks. I can blame it on my focus with school but I'm not going to make excuses this time.

How do I plan on overcoming this issue? I'm going to write out a schedule each night- no matter how tired I am, how much homework/studying I need to do... that lays out what I need to get done each day. I will not go to sleep until each item is crossed off my "to-do" list. I'm hoping my list will get me in the habit of maintaining and keeping in order everything I need to do while holding me accountable if I fail to do something that day. I'm a work in progress.

One of my good girlfriends, Cherish, has committed herself to being my "get healthy" partner. My boyfriend is too much of a couch potato to commit to this. I'm hoping that he sees my efforts and want to get in on it.

I can say that I haven't gone to far off the healthier eating plan. However, I'm doing more research to get the most out of my diet versus just cutting fats out.

holding myself accountable... sticking to my goals.. It another day one to my journey to better.....

Raising a black man...

A month after the murder of Trayvon Martin, I found myself close to tears. I've paid close attention to every detail surrounding this case. This is one of those stories that make me realize how society effects my personal life. Two years ago, I would have paid attention to the news, I would have probably shared my opinions and not much more after that. I wouldn't have done more because I didn't believe things effected ME. I was aware of the world and how people thought, especially about racial issues, but they were "outta sight, outta mind" for me. When I found out I was carrying a BLACK MAN in my womb, I begun to view society in a different light.

As I sit on my couch, watching CNN or the evening news, I find myself sick to my stomach. A month after this senseless, racially motivated murder.. George Zimmerman is still in "hiding" and now the authorities are beginning to seek justification into this hate-filled crime. The Stanford police have stated Trayvon was accused of having marijuana residue in his bookbag, that he has been suspended from school a few times and even looked at his twitter feed. The authorities have also stated that Trayvon "attacked" Zimmerman. If Trayvon did punch Zimmerman, when is it okay for a stranger to stalk you and for your to protect yourself and get SHOT for defending yourself? I look down at my son and begin to realize that HE might be "mistaken" for a "hoodlum", a "criminal", a "delinquent" just because of his brown skin. How do I protect him? Oh, I am to teach him how to "act" and "conduct" himself in the presence of white folk? Am I to teach him to move slow? To keep his hands out of his pockets and in view at all times? Am I to teach him to keep his voice low? To never look in the eye of a white man? To forbid him of wearing certain clothes? Am I to teach him to be SCARED of authority?

I'm afraid I could NEVER do these things. I've already decided to teach him right from wrong. Isn't that enough?

My whole life I've seen all the black men in my life be treated unfairly. My boyfriend has a 1999 Ford Crown Victoria. I've witnessed with my own eyes the police sit at a stop light, make an illegal u-turn to purposely get behind him to pull him over. I've watched the police pull him over and search his car while sarcastically "hoping" to find drugs or a gun. Tyree is college educated, he was raised in a christian household and is free of criminal record. Yet, he's been targeted for profiling because he "fits the description". Fits the description of who? A 20-something black guy?

Trayvon Martin or James Byrd, the black Texas man who was maliciously dragged behind a pick up truck in 1998. Lets not forget Anthony Hill who was shot in the head then dragged behind a truck in South Carolina in 2010 or James Anderson, the Mississippian who was killed the night some kids wanted to "fuck with some niggers" just last summer. These black men are prime examples of the how some Americans still view black men. Black life is less valuable than any other life. As I begin to examine the crimes against the species I love the most, I begin to reflect on all of the black men that I know who have been killed by OTHER black men. Our society has hated black men so much since my ancestors crossed the Atlantic that they hate themselves. Niggas killing niggas is the outcome of society placing such little value on black men.

How do we stop black men from, first, hating each other? How do we get black men to stand together to end injustice against their own species? How do we as a group begin to change the 400 year old stigma of our black men? How do I keep my son out of a body bag and out of jail? I believe Black men have to educate the generations that come up behind them. If a man teaches a young black boy the importance of family, he won't walk out on the family that will one day be his. If a man teaches a young black boy that other black men are his brothers NOT his enemy, he won't think another boy's life is less than his. If a man teaches a young black boy that the acquisition of knowledge, be it a trade or degree- is POWER, not drugs or violence, that boy will excel at his academics.

Black men, I pray that we ALL grow tired of this injustice. I pray that we ALL try to turn to tables. Lets do it for Trayvon, and if not for him, do it for yourself. Let America know you're TIRED of society thinking you are heartless and criminal.